Year 2002 Season

Click here to view the Year 2002 Pound Puppies fantasy football team and standings.

Year 2001 Season

What a crappy, crappy season.

Year 2000 Season

The Pound Puppies finished the season 7-7 and placed 8th in a league of 12 (only the top 4 teams make the playoffs) despite leading the league in points scored, leading the league in the number of "all-play" wins (teams play everybody every week) with a record 102 wins, and ranked #2 in the power rankings. In the their 7 losses, the Pound Puppies played the #1 scoring team for the week 4 times and the #2 scoring team once (5 out of 7 losses are against #2 or better). This led to a controversy and conspiracy allegations in the schedule as outlined in the following press releases:

Pound Puppies Contest League Schedule (Dec 1st, 2000)
ST. LOUIS PARK, MN: Unprecedented in Fantasy Football history, the Pound Puppies have contested the league’s "confusing butterfly schedule". In an official press release, the Pound Puppies stated, "The schedule has caused confusion resulting in unfavorable and disturbing results." The Pound Puppies point out the fact that after 13 weeks in the season with one more regular season game, they have a losing record and no chance for the playoffs despite being #2 in the league in points scored, #3 in the power ranking, and being tied for the most all-play wins with 93. The Pound Puppies also site that in their 7 loses, they have played the #1 scoring team for the week 4 times, and the #2 scoring team for the week once (5 out of 7 are #2 or better). Adding to the suggested disparity in the league schedule, the Pound Puppies said, "Just look at the Sled Dogs. Now tell me honestly, how can a team with such ugly colors and a poor sponsor be remotely competitive?"

Citing legislative Fantasy Football law, the Pound Puppies are seeking manual hand-recounts of all games taking place during weeks 2, 3, 5, 7, 9, 10, and 12. "We only want a fair and accurate count. Our fundamental values in democracy are being attacked. The will of the points must be heard." stated the Pound Puppies official representative. The Pound Puppies also stated they are prepared to take this to the Fantasy Football Supreme Court who will act as a fair and impartial arbiter in this matter.

"This is American Fantasy Football. And in America, points count."

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Sled Dogs Owner Responds to Pound Puppies (Dec 1st, 2000)
SAVAGE, MN: JD Reinarz Jr., owner of the 2000 Green division champion Sled Dogs, commented on remarks made by the Pound Puppies ownership, in an interview held on Friday. Mr. P Grisez, owner of the third year expansion team Pound Puppies, recklessly bashed the Sled Dogs and their sponsorship. “It is obvious that Mr. Grisez is green with envy over the Sled Dogs outstanding performance throughout the 2000 season.”, said Reinarz. Mr. Reinarz also hinted that, because of increased revenue from shirt sales, concessions, and a new Arctic Cat contract, that the organization had more than enough disposable cash to purchase the Pound Puppies, change their name to the Black Birds, and move them to Baltimore, where he would consider giving the team to his long time friend, Mr. A Modell.

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Pound Puppies Concede (Dec 5th, 2000)
ST. LOUIS PARK, MN: From their main office, the Pound Puppies’ team owner officially announced they would concede victory and discontinue all legal action concerning contesting the league schedule. With statesman like class, Mr. Grisez commented, "It is time to put the interests of Fantasy Football first. We must unite and bridge the gap that divides us all. We must give our full support and hearty congratulations to all teams making the playoffs." The extraordinary diplomatic example in which Mr. Grisez conducted himself was nothing short of inspirational. A fine example for all Fantasy Football Americans including young children, who themselves may someday be Fantasy Football owners. In addition, given that after concluding the regular season schedule with the Pound Puppies leading the league in points scored, leading the league in the breakdown record with 102 wins, and being tied for #2 in the power rankings, Mr. Grisez added, "Make no mistake that history shall vindicate the Pound Puppies. We played with pride. We played with character. We played with honor. I am proud of this team." A comment, as if riding on angle’s wings, that put a tear in the eye of this thankful, deeply touched reporter.

Finally, Mr. Grisez concluded by saying, "Just one more thing. Someone please explain to me why the Sled DOGS have Artic CAT colors? What’s with that? How does a team win, let alone be competitive, when they are so disorganized they can’t even keep their name and colors straight. DOGS with CAT colors. Give me a break. Please. What is happening to this country? Is this the future we want for our children? I SAY NO! BAN ALL CATS! BAN ALL CATS! BAN ALL CATS!"

OK. Maybe not so diplomatic in that last statement.

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Pound Puppies Clarify Their Position on CATS (Dec 9th, 2000)
ST. LOUIS PARK, MN: The Pound Puppies owner and Director of Player Personnel, Phil Grisez, held a press conference Saturday to further clarify his radical opinion on Artic Cat snowmobiles. "Please understand, I am putting my pride aside and I am doing this for the children. I stand here to represent our future and give our children a voice. A voice that should be respected and heard from sea to shining sea." stated Mr. Grisez. He continued, "We all have heard about the depletion in our ozone layer and the effects of global warming. In fact, we can see the changes in weather patterns right here in our own home state. Statistics clearly show that nearly 1/3 of all snowmobiles are Artic Cats. Therefore, by working together as a community and banning all Artic Cat snowmobiles, we can reduce snowmobile pollution by 1/3. This is a critical and difficult step towards repairing the ozone layer and respecting our future. I am confidant that you will find the courage deep in your heart and join me in this cause. Besides, have you ever looked at that Artic Cat green color? Give me a break! That green is so ugly that if you looked at it too long, you’d get cataracts and go blind. Make no mistake. Artic Cat green is sour, bitter eye candy that must be eradicated from our great national landscape. You must ask yourself, 'What is the alternative?' and is that what you want for your kids? To walk around blind with white caked cataract eyes and burnt flesh dropping from their bodies due to no ozone? Do we want our kids to be freaks in some grotesque monster movie? I say no. Therefore, I repeat my impassioned plea and encourage all to find their unselfish character and work with me to BAN ALL CATS! BAN ALL CATS! BAN ALL CATS!"

In a related story, Susan Nelson, representing the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), attacked the Sled Dogs ownership for encouraging unfair and inhumane practices against dogs. "Dogs are not sleds and should not be treated as such. They just want to be loved like everyone else." commented Ms. Nelson. She also complemented the Pound Puppies organization for the "intelligent thought required to formulate their namesake," which shows compassion towards unwanted puppies and a commitment to excellence. "Perhaps the Sled Dogs should change their name to something that is not quite as offensive, and something that more related to their green color. Something like the Sled Kiwi." concluded Ms. Nelson

However, when news of the name change reached Tom Snyder, Public Relations Officer for the Society of Unknown Celebrities for Kiwi (SUCK), the concept was seriously put in doubt. "We, in no way, want anything to do with the Sled Dogs' ownership", commented Mr. Snyder. It appears that even ugly fruit do not want to be associated with the Sled Dogs and that green color.

Recent events have turned into a firestorm and a public relations disaster for the Sled Dogs, who are getting ready for their first playoff appearance in franchise history. One wonders if these distractions could affect the players, therefore casting a shadow of doubt through out the Sled Dogs organization.

Finally, the Pound Puppies' owner Phil Grisez, challenged the Sled Dogs, "I have nothing against the Sled Dogs. OK. I lied. Yes I do. Look, week 17 in the schedule is open. I hereby challenge the Sled Dogs to a week 17 match up. That is, if they are not afraid. If I lose, I will buy lunch for the Sled Dogs' owner and listen to the virtues of Artic Cat green. If I win, the Sled Dogs will buy lunch and listen to my impassioned plea to save the world."

It is just that simple.

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Sled Dogs Owner Rejects Pound Puppies Offer, Exposes Puppies Ownership (Dec 11th, 2000)
SAVAGE, MN: Mr. Reinarz, Owner and Manager of Operations of the Green Division champion Sled Dogs, quickly rejected the Pound Puppies offer to a final playoff in week 17. “We defeated the them in the regular season, they did not make the playoffs, and now they are asking for a rematch. It’s like the looser of a 40 – 0 game asking the winner to just play one sudden death over time period. This is almost as bad as the Democratic Party wanting to recount votes until they get a number that suites them.” Reinarz Said. He also went on to say, “Up until now I have not understood the motivation for such attacks on our organization and sponsorship by the Pound Puppies. But recently, through an unnamed source, we have come to learn that Mr. Grisiz is a member of Poor Old Losers Are Riding In Shame (POLARIS). It seems that Mr. Grisiz is only painting half of the picture when he talks about saving our environment. POLARIS currently holds 50% of the current snowmobile market with an inferior product. If he were sincere about his intentions to save the world, he would not be attacking AC, he would be going after POLARIS. I personally would like to see POLARIS shut down for good. This would be a win-win all the way around. Cleaner environment because there would be less sleds running the trails and those that were out there would be of the highest quality.”

Mr Reinarz went on to comment “It is a sad day when an owner in our beloved league has fallen so low that they must resort to illegal gambling and betting for the sake of food. The Sled Dogs organization would like to be the first to extend a helping hand to the Poor Pound Puppies.” In a move of extraordinary graciousness, Reinarz announced that once his organization receive its cash award for winning the Green Division, that he personally would take Mr Grisez to lunch at his place of his choosing. He went on to encourage other owners in the league to do the same. “It’s just hard to see an organization so down and completely out of touch. Mr. Grisez appears to be so distraught that he can not even spell ‘arctic’.” noted Reinarz. All of this, one day after the Freebirds eliminated the Sled Dogs from the playoffs. Mr. Reinarz is truly a man of exemplary character.

In a side interview Reinarz encouraged PETA to reassess comments made in an earlier interview. “Remember, there are two meanings to the word ‘pound’. Mr. Grisez seems to imply that the word ‘pound’ is used as a noun, as in dog pound. But I would argue that, based on performance of his team, the context should have been the verb form. And I ask you Mrs. Nelson, what kind of monster would sit idly by and watch other teams pound puppies all season long? The good of the children, the good of the environment, the good of the world, give me a break, you people make me sick!"

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Snowmobile Bowl Announced (Dec 15th, 2000)
RICHFIELD, MN: Bitter rivals the Pound Puppies and the Sled Dogs have agreed to participate in the Year 2000 Snowmobile Bowl scheduled for Week 17. With pride, lunch, and bragging rights on the line, this game is poised to become a traditional classic.

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Pound Puppies Win 1st Annual Snowmobile Bowl (Dec 18th, 2000)
RICHFIELD, MN: The Pound Puppies won the 1st annual Snowmobile Bowl in a thrilling 47 to 42 victory over arch rival Sled Dogs.

Year 1999 Season

The injury decimated Pound Puppies finished last in the division, bottom of the league.

Year 1998 Season

Ranked #2 in the season ending power ranking, the Pound Puppies won the division, lost the Super Bowl to the wildcard team (beat the same team twice in the regular season).