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The Pressure Absorption Test:
The pressure absorption test demonstrates the test subjects' ability to return to normal after being subjected to extreme pressure. In this test, a test subject is placed between two pieces of 3/4" plexi glass. The plexi glass is then squeezed together by two industrial vice clamps.

Gummi Bear


The Gummi Bear appears confident, strong, ready. Bring it on.


Even under extreme pressure, the Gummi Bear maintains its general shape.


A close up view reveals the Gummi Bear's height and width has expanded, and its depth is a mere 1/10th the original size. Yet, there are no complaints from the Gummi Bear.


But what is this! Incredible! Soon after being removed from the pressure test, the Gummi Bear returns back to its normal shape! It's true! Try it yourself. Next time you are eating Gummi Bears, pinch one of them as hard as you can. Even put one under a book and stand on the book. The Gummi Bear will come right back to shape.

SCORE: 3

Chocolate Bunny


The Chocolate Bunny awaits the test. Perhaps a bit nervous. None the less, the Chocolate Bunny will not back down from a challenge.


OUCH! That has got to hurt. Like a two-bit thief under a smoky, hot lamp in a good cop/bad cop routine, the Chocolate Bunny cracks under pressure.


Reduced to a jigsaw puzzle, the Chocolate Bunny has no ability to return to its original form (without the assistance of glue, nails, and perhaps some duct tape).

SCORE: 1

Marshmallow Chick


The Marshmallow Chick is tentatively ready for the test. The Marshmallow Chick would rather be someplace else. However, we told the Marshmallow Chick the test would not hurt.


We lied and we have no remorse. The Marshmallow Chick looks like it wants to scream. However, under the extreme pressure, the Marshmallow Chick can do nothing but hope for mercy.


After being removed, the Marshmallow Chick retains part of its original form.


However, its recovery is only partial as this Marshmallow Chick can be mailed home without using extra postage. It is believed this Marshmallow Chick is currently working as a super model somewhere in the south of France.

SCORE: 2

Control Subject

The Control Subject awaits the test. Oh my. How disgusting. Perhaps young children should not look at this. Then we applied the pressure. Looks like one of those ink splotches a psychologist might put in front of you and say, "What is the first thing that comes to your mind?" Umm... Looks like an alien hit the windshield of my truck. "How exciting!", you might say. Yea, in much the same way a laxative is exciting. Please notice that when handling the Control Subject, industrial strength rubber gloves are used for protection.

SCORE: 0

 

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