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Stupid Stuff : Dog Biscuit Challenge

Last Updated: Monday, 06-May-2013 11:09:11 MDT

As you may or may not know, for the 1999 football season I made a bet with the people at work to celebrate the return of the Cleveland Browns! I had to eat a dog biscuit every week the Browns lost a game (until they won a game). When the Browns won a game, 18 people at work each had to eat a dog biscuit. So I kept the candy jar at my desk filled with orange and brown dog biscuits (gave the green, red, and yellow biscuits away). Well, the Browns lost 7 games and I was beginning to think I was going to eat biscuits all season long. But the Browns pulled out a victory against the Saints and I enjoyed watching 18 people at work (mostly Viking and Packer fans) eat a dog biscuit.

After eating so many dog biscuits I noticed my teeth are whiter, breath is fresher, and my coat is shinier!

However, here are the top ten "effects" you may experience after eating dog biscuits:

10. You like to stick your head out of car window while driving
9. You think to yourself, "I am the king of tug-o-war. No one can defeat me. Go ahead, try and pull my teeth out with this rope!"
8. You get excited when you pass a fire hydrant
7. You like to have your belly rubbed
6. You now spend lunch hours at PetSmart instead of Best Buy
5. You have dreams about chasing rabbits
4. You lift your leg to use the urinal
3. SQUEAKY TOYS! SQUEAKY TOYS! SQUEAKY TOYS!
2. You think its perfectly fine to sniff someone's butt when saying "Hello"
1. Unconditional love!

phil@grisez.net