Height: 135 mm Width: 20 mm Weight: 45.4 gm Cost: $0.99 lbs. Calories: 150 (120 from fat) Main Ingredients: Unknown

Yuck. The dredge of the earth. Torn by anger directed at a few, select individuals, the Control Subject believes it's been wronged or treated unfairly in the past and finds it impossible to let go of old, hostile feelings. Composed of questionable byproducts, this poor excuse for tubed meat is most likely to torment a world renowned web developer during sleep. Can I get no peace from this vile fruit of evil?

Strengths:
None, besides the ability to survive a nuclear attack or perhaps its ability to infiltrate the enemy as a sick mind control device and/or chemical warfare.

Weaknesses:
Possibly invented by an alien race. Plus, the Control Subject lacks self-discipline with a passive-aggression personality, and expresses its anger in indirect ways that are disguised from its intended victim, rather than express anger directly towards another and risk painful retaliation.

Possible Careers:
With a propensity for sadistic torture and the need to impose its insecurities on others, the Control Subject is perfectly suited for dentistry,  management, or working for the U.S. Postal Service.