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The Impale Test:
The impale test explores the test subjects' ability to adapt to foreign objects penetrating the body. Each test subject is impaled through the chest area from back to front with a 3/4" drill bit. The drill bit is then removed.

Gummi Bear


The Gummi Bear appears ready for the test as if needing an unreachable itch scratched.


Mmmm. Yea. That hits the spot.


The Gummi Bear has fully enveloped the foreign impalement. The drill bit has become an extension of the Gummi Bear.


In fact, the Gummi Bear resists having its new body part removed.


After the drill bit is removed, the Gummi Bear appears absolutely normal as if no object penetrated its chest. The penetrating wound has closed and healed itself. Amazing.

SCORE: 3

Chocolate Bunny


The Chocolate Bunny awaits impalement.


"Kind of tickles", thinks the Chocolate Bunny as the drill bit begins penetration through the back.


The drill bit has fully penetrated the Chocolate Bunny's body cavity. In fact, you can spin the Chocolate Bunny on the drill bit, however, the Chocolate Bunny only gets dizzy.


With the drill bit removed, the penetrating wound remains open, and in certain north easterly winds a distinct, hollow whistle can be heard. "A cool way to pick up dates!", the Chocolate Bunny surmises.

SCORE: 2

Marshmallow Chick


The Marshmallow Chick would rather be playing solitaire, but that is just not possible now.


Man, that just looks painful.


The drill bit breaks through the chest area and along with it, a small amount of internal flesh covers the drill bit.


As the drill bit is being removed, it appears as if the Marshmallow Chick is being turned inside out.


Scarred and disfigured for life, the Marshmallow Chick is traumatized by the experience. The Marshmallow Chick has however, reclaimed most of its flesh from the drill bit.

SCORE: 1

Control Subject

The first problem is finding the Control Subject's chest cavity. The next problem is finding the front or back. What the heck. JUST IMPALE IT! Quite easilly, the drill bit penetrates the Control Subject as small pieces of flesh fall to the ground. Once the drill bit is removed, additional pieces of flesh fall from the body cavity. In addition, flesh covers the drill bit. I forgot to clean the drill bit right away and to this day the drill bit no longer can make cuts into wood, steel, rubber, plastic, or even a Styrofoam cup. Be very careful when handling a Control Subject.

SCORE: 0

 

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